


Begin Again

by yxrtyu



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Drinking, Eventual Relationships, F/M, FF8 and FF7 universes mentioned, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Leon has a "oh no she can beat me up" kink, Sparring, rated for one or two curse words and implied sexual content, this somehow turned from a kink to angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22912111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yxrtyu/pseuds/yxrtyu
Summary: Leon was always needed, Tifa was always needing. He wants, she wants to be wanted.
Relationships: Leon/Tifa (Kingdom Hearts), Rinoa Heartilly/Squall Leonhart, Tifa Lockhart/Cloud Strife, mentioned cloti, past squinoa - Relationship
Comments: 15
Kudos: 27





	Begin Again

**Author's Note:**

> This ship has been a personal favorite of mine ever since I read Rhino7's and The Sacred and Profane's works on fanfiction.net. Idk if many people still enjoy these two together, but I hope I get some people to like it.
> 
> I came across the manga page in which Tifa lifts a bookshelf over her head... and thus, this fic was born. I've written this over a year ago, and I have finally finished it.
> 
> Enjoy!

The first time Leon saw Tifa, he was immediately reminded of a girl who always had a singing lilt to her tone, a sway in her step as she clasped her hands behind her back, and had magic handy at her fingertips. The same fingertips she used to brush his bangs out of his eyes and touch his lips with. 

His second thought was that the woman looked like a lunatic trying to lift the heavy bookcase that contained important documents. Because no one human can easily lift something that heavy all by themselves. 

But he was proven wrong, and he thought… well, he didn’t have a thought. He unabashedly gaped at the sight of Tifa pressing the bookcase up high above her head, feeling his jaw drop to the floor and his eyes widening to a comical size. If one were to look at him, it was pretty obvious that he truly was in awe of her sheer strength. 

Then she tossed it over her shoulder like she was tossing a paper ball into a waste basket, and it landed in right front of Sora, Donald, and Goofy, who were scared shitless. So, he got mad because no one should hurt the trio that was working their asses off to save every single planet. He gritted his teeth and stomped over to her to grab her wrists, about to tell her off and to stop making a mess… but then she went and threw him over her shoulder and across the room and into another bookshelf. 

Thus brings his fourth thought, which was, ‘Holy shit. She can kill me.’ And that thought alone made him blush and sent a tingle down his spine, which only made him angrier because why the hell was he getting so aroused over a woman who can beat him to death? So he did the only sensible thing and went ahead and whipped out his gunblade, ignoring the warm sensation that spread across his face. 

Then she called him a pea brain, which only made him angrier because it was a childish insult, and the only other person he could put up with calling him stupid middle school insults was—

No. No need to bring up what was no longer. 

“Look, I’m just trying to look for Cloud. That’s all. I need to find him,” she said tiredly, exhaustion finally creeping into her strong frame. “I’ve been to so many worlds only to hear he left.” She sunk to the ground, resting her chin upon her knees and linking her fingers together in front of her. 

He clenched his jaw, and eventually he relinquished the grip on his gunblade with a sigh. The anger and frustration melted away into a twisted sense of relief, of understanding. 

He wasn’t the only one chasing ghosts. 

* * *

The first time he saw Tifa fight, she jumped in when he was surrounded by Large Bodies, and the Soldiers were being wildly inconvenient for him. 

She did flips and kicks, kicks to the bellies, kicks that she swung around 360 degrees, kicks that had her leg all the way up above her head. She dealt punches and chops to the necks, and she focused on weak points that had her enemies crumbling and unable to use limbs. She blocked with the backs of arms and her legs, and she dodged by bending backwards and sideways, somersaulting, and cartwheeling. 

Leon was so impressed with her performance, enamoured by her grace on the battlefield, that he almost forgot about the Large Body blitzing its way towards him for a body slam. His eyes narrowed at the large Heartless, biding his time until the opportune moment came. As soon as the timing felt right, he vaulted above the Large Body using a nearby Soldier’s head for a boost to bring down his gunblade down its back, and then he landed to cast a Firaga as a finishing blow. The Big Body burst into black wisps, and the heart it used floated up into the sky. 

“Neat trick!” Tifa shouted over the clamor of the fighting. 

Leon looked over in time to see Tifa jump up and wrap her legs around an unsuspecting Neoshadow’s poor neck and twist her body to bring it down into a vice lock. Then she shift her legs sharply to snap its neck, causing the Neoshadow to dissolve and release its heart. 

With that scene in front of him, Leon couldn’t help but focus on those very vicious thighs that wrapped around the neck of a Heartless only to imagine the same ones to be around his own neck. Sensing a shadow on his right, he stuck his gunblade out to his side and obliterated the Shadow, not taking eyes off those muscular thighs. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was so dry. 

He concluded that he was screwed if he stayed near her in these fights. Those thighs would kill him indirectly. (He thought that it would’ve been better if they killed him directly, but Heartless were popping up a lot more that needed his attention, so indirectly it would have to be.)

* * *

The first time he actually fought Tifa, he was surprisingly free at the time. No patrols, no paperwork, nothing to oversee at the time since most of the projects did not have anything to report. She came up to him and asked him if he wanted to spar. 

“I would have asked Yuffie, but I believe Cid has her holed up in the garage as his assistant since his usual was sick, and she supposedly owed him for all the paperwork she made him do for her,” she told him while stretching out her arms. He couldn’t help but notice how sculpted her deltoids were, and he decided that her arms were very attractive. 

“Sure,” he accepted without really thinking it through, his eyes drifting away from her stretching to look into her own wine red one’s. A different color. “Could use the exercise.”

That’s how he found himself going head to head in the Great Maw with his gunblade against the martial artist’s fists. At first, he thought it was a little unfair to be the only one with a weapon, but as the fight went on, he could see that Tifa was still on equal ground with him. Where he struck, she dodged, and where she kicked, he parried with his weapon. 

It went back and forth for awhile until he found the opportunity to raise the gunblade and bring it straight down on her, but she surprised him by catching it with both of her hands, unafraid of getting sliced in half. She smirked at him, and he thought, oh no, she’s so attractive with that stupid little smirk and holding the gunblade with her two hands. 

Surprising Leon with her strength again, she held fast onto his gunblade and pulled on it, while he tried to pull back. He was sorely losing the tug of war, and eventually she was able to take his weapon out of his hands and throw it to the side, the sound of the metal scratching the ground echoing throughout the valley. 

Leon barely had enough time to block the incoming gloved fist that was coming his way, but he was not able to guard against the knee that went straight into his stomach. Breathless, he doubled over, but like, hell, was he not going down without a fight. He sidestepped to avoid the elbow that would land on his back and went to chop her at the neck, only to be blocked by her own hand. 

He may not be a martial artist, but SEEd didn’t leave him unprepared so that he wouldn’t be completely useless in hand to hand combat. Their dance went on for awhile, and he got a few punches in, and she landed a few kicks here and there and some more punches. However, he could only keep up with her for so long until she finally jumped up to perform a spinning kick to his cheek. Stunned, he stumbled around as he attempted to get his bearings. With his slight hesitation and confusion, he was unable to prepare himself for Tifa’s lovely thighs to enclose his throat and bring him to the ground. She twisted her legs so that he was on his left side and she was on her back. 

He was gasping for air, as he attempted to free himself from her submission hold, hands around her thighs to pry them away from his neck. His eyes met her own, which were filled with triumph and smugness. 

“Submit,” she demanded after she caught her breath. 

He looked at her, looked at the blood dripping from her nose and all over her mouth, which was drawn into a tight line, determined and focused. His eyes traveled down to her chest, which he noted was well endowed and was definitely every pubescent boy’s wet dream. Continuing his journey downwards, he finally reached the spot between her legs, and he couldn’t help but notice how close he was. If he pushed himself up a little more…

He was definitely getting a hard on from the close proximity, which was worsened by the fact that he was  _ enjoying _ being choked by the thighs he had been obsessing over since the first time he saw them in action. His face was so warm, from the arousal or from the exertion of the fight, he didn’t know, but it was pissing him off that he was acting like a goddamn cadet who saw boobs for the first time. 

Her legs tightened ever so slightly, and he had to grit his teeth to prevent a moan from coming out of his mouth. 

Sanity coming back to him, he decided he needed to get out of this situation before he made a bigger fool of himself, so he quickly tapped his hand on her thigh (which he couldn’t help but notice how rock hard they were) to which she finally released her hold on his neck. 

Leon laid on his back, gasping for air. The sky was an array of purples and oranges, a sign that the sun was setting. He tried to think of Scrooge McDuck performing drag and of cute puppies. 

“Good fight. That was fun,” Tifa said, still a little winded. She sniffed, and then spat. “You made me bleed.”

“You look great. You’re fine.”

Her head blocked his vision from the sky. She grinned at him, teeth tinged red with blood. 

“I take it back. Your face is the stuff of nightmares right now.” 

Rolling her eyes, Tifa stuck a hand out to help him up, which he gladly took. After he stood up, he put his hands on his hips and continued to look up at the sky, still trying to catch his breath. A soft wind blew, and he closed his eyes to let it cool his warm skin. 

“Come on, let’s go bother Aerith for some Cures.”

“You go on ahead,” Leon said to her, waving a hand. He really needed to calm himself down, and he tried to summon images of that weird guy he had to fight in the basement back at Balamb Garden. 

Tifa quirked an eyebrow at him, but if she seemed to notice anything wrong, she didn’t mention it for she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and started her way back to the town. Leon looked at her through his peripherals and trained his eyes on the sway of her very strong hips. 

He quickly averted his eyes and thought of Marlboros and their oozing and beady eyes. 

* * *

Leon made it a point to avoid Tifa wherever she was. If she walked into the room, he would stay anywhere between five to thirty minutes before excusing himself to work on some task that sounded important. It worked most of the time since he was the unspoken leader of the Restoration Committee. However, if he was the one to walk in, he’d make it a point to walk to the farthest corner or grab whatever he needed and leave without making conversation with anybody. 

Eventually, Cid caught onto him and confronted him while everyone was out for patrol or a mission and the two were left to work in the gummi hangar (or forced to in Leon’s case as his office was currently a makeshift storage room that he had yet to clear out). 

“You’re being mighty strange, Squall.”

Leon looked up from his paperwork and eyed him, not bothering to correct him even though he dropped that name a long time ago. 

“You’re lucky it’s me noticing and not Aerith. Aerith loves that girl. Been through a lot with each other,” Cid spoke as he screwed a bolt into somewhere. Leon wasn’t really paying attention. After a grunt, Cid leaned back from his work and continued. “If it’s because she looks like—”

“Don’t, Cid,” Leon said in exasperation. 

Cid whipped around and gave him a stink eye, his hand brandishing the wrench menacingly at Leon. “Look, I’m just saying. That girl has been through hell and back. You don’t need to add on to it.”

The older man turned back to work on the panel of the ship, leaving Leon to think about how right and yet how wrong Cid was. 

* * *

Somehow, Tifa caught wind of what he was doing and cornered him during their patrol together, which he didn’t remember scheduling. He prepared himself for it, but what he wasn’t prepared for was how she approached him. 

“Who was she?” she asked after walking in silence for the first part of the night shift. 

He looked at her, but instead of seeing her, he saw a glimpse of the girl who was his whole world, the girl whose world was destroyed along with her. With a blink, Tifa came back to view, eyes wine red and not dark brown. 

He turned away from her, not knowing how to start. 

“Everyone kept on saying how much I looked like her,” Tifa said. She elbowed him, making him look back at her. “You seem to have great taste in women, eh?”

“If by great taste you mean women whom I can’t protect no matter how hard I try, then, yeah, I guess.”

He had no idea where that came from, which wasn’t a complete lie; he hadn’t spoken about what happened ever since he got out of his homeworld. She shut her mouth, eyes wide with surprise, a thousand apologies swimming in those ruby pools. 

He grunted a quick sorry, and they both turned their heads to look ahead and back to the patrol they were barely paying attention to. 

After a few more minutes of walking around in the dimly lit streets and no Heartless near, Tifa finally opened her mouth to say, “I’m sorry. I could stay away if you want. I don’t want to bring up anything bad for you.”

Leon sighed. He stepped forward in front of her to face her so that she would stop walking and look at him. His heart wrenched at the sight of how much Tifa looked like her. “You don’t have to do that. You just look like her, but you’re not her. It’s something I have to work on.”

That was completely true. He had to somehow figure out a way to stop seeing his past and look at Tifa as Tifa because that’s what she deserves (especially with that asshole running around and avoiding everyone). Plus, he had to also try and not get flustered over how strong she is. 

“Oh. Okay. But you still keep avoiding me, though,” she pointed out. She crossed her arms, as a sign of protection or of annoyance, he didn’t know. “Why is that?”

“Uh,” Leon stuttered. He looked elsewhere, anywhere but Tifa’s sculpted thighs, flexing arms from how she was crossing them, and that confident stature, and he hoped that it was dark enough for Tifa not to see the red creeping up his neck and face. With his brain short circuiting, Leon saw no other solution other than to quickly exit the scene, so he started walking away from her. 

“Hey! Are you kidding me?!” She yelled after him. 

“Quiet. People are sleeping,” he ended up shouting back despite his command to her. 

Her quick footsteps slapping against the pavement echoed throughout the peaceful street. She reached his side and gave him an annoyed stare. He stared back. 

“You’re still avoiding me.”

“Okay,” he said back. She huffed and looked away. The disappointed look on her face twisted his own heart in a way. He felt bad, of course, but he had been alone for as long as he could remember. Before  _ she _ was alive, and after  _ she _ was alive he had kept to himself. He could barely hold conversations with his friends whom he knew meant well. 

But it was just how it was. And  _ she _ was never coming back. 

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, unsure of what to do now until he saw that they were nearing the local pub.

“... let’s get a drink.”

Her head whipped around so fast, he could’ve sworn he heard the wind be sliced by her long locks. As soon as her eyes connected with his, he tilted his head towards the nearby bar, the only one so far in the budding town. He watched as she looked at the bar, her eyebrows scrunched together and lips quirked to the side deep in thought before she looked back at him with a smile. “I’m game.” 

With that, they both cut their patrol off a tad bit short and started for the bar. 

* * *

“Shot?”

Leon stared plainly at her. “We’re on patrol.”

“Well, you suggested we drink,” Tifa returned with a finger jabbing into his chest. She planted her fist on her hip and tilted her chin up, her confidence shining brightly at him. “So, we drink!”

Leon only sighed and ran a hand down his face as Tifa leaned over the bar to wink at the only bartender for the night. 

* * *

“That is so CRAZY!” 

It had been two hours since they took a “break” from their patrol, and the two of the town’s guardians were already four shots in, laughing over Leon’s retelling of how he was lost to time after he fought Ultimecia. 

“Yeah, it was pretty wild,” Leon recounted. “I did not know which way was up or down, and sometimes I was myself and sometimes I was not?” 

Tifa finished sipping her whiskey and wiped the back of her mouth, her hand leaving behind a smirk. “I bet I can top that craziness.”

“Oh yeah? I can’t see how you can beat me and my comrades traveling through dimensions and space AND time,” Leon goaded, an eyebrow raised. He felt himself smiling, which is probably the most he had ever done since… ever. He blamed it on the alcohol. 

“Well, I bet you have never fought underwater!” Tifa exclaimed, her hand slapping the counter to emphasize how absurd the idea was.

Leon waved his hand, unamused. “Pft. Not as impressive.”

Tifa erupted into laughter as she grabbed onto his hand. “Oh come on, you try fighting a huge weapon 2,000 feet below sea!”

“Oh, I’m sure it was hard, but not as hard as fighting across DIMENSIONS!” 

This had Tifa doubling over, the fit of laughter not ending anytime soon, her head bowing into Leon’s space. Leon steadied her with a hand, smiling at how Tifa was losing it. He deemed it a nice sight to see her so relaxed, and just thinking about it made his stomach flutter.

Once Tifa gained control of her breathing, she sighed, still holding onto his hand. He gained the courage to link his fingers with hers, and their joined hands settled on Tifa’s knee.

“Well, in my party, we had a giant stuffed moogle that was controlled by a robot cat that was sometimes controlled by someone from this evil company we fought against.”

“... excuse me?”

* * *

By the sixth shot and one glass of whiskey of each, Leon was feeling warm and his lips felt loose enough to stop joking around over tales of epic battles against dangerous monsters and conniving villains and instead talk about his own world, its demise, and Radiant Garden’s rebirth. It was a topic he was all too familiar with, one that brought up painful memories of all the losses he had, especially the one that meant the most. He never felt the need to discuss it ever, but tonight was the night that changed that. 

When he spoke of her, he tried his best to remember her, her voice, her laugh, her gritted determination, her outgoing personality, what she looked like. He summoned up memories, which only emphasized the emptiness in his heart that he had been carrying with him ever since. He hated doing this, going down this road and feeling so useless and angry, that he tucked all of this mess into a box and stored it away, promising himself not to look at it ever again. However, he was currently breaking his promise, but whether it was the alcohol or because he wanted to tell Tifa, a complete stranger turned acquaintance turned… comfortable companion in shared misery, he didn’t know.

“Wow… I can’t imagine what that’s like…” Tifa said in awe as she looked down to swirl her drink. “You’re truly something, y’know?”

Leon waved a hand. “I’m just a guy who’s just trying to help out. ‘M nothing special.”

“Yeah, but you’ve put all your hurt aside to help and give everyone hope. That’s something to be proud of.” 

Leon stayed silent and took a sip of his drink. Tifa continued to manipulate the amber liquid in her glass, letting it tilt back and forth. 

“All I’ve ever done was look for Cloud. I left home to look for him because I knew… well, I thought he needed me.” 

Leon couldn’t help but hear how small she sounded, and when he really looked at her, she was no longer the confident woman who could kick anyone’s ass, but a little girl who was left behind by her best friend. 

In a different life, maybe the two of them would have grown up. In this one, they only looked older, but they still held onto the past. 

Tifa blew the bangs out of her face and knocked back the strong liquor, and Leon watched as she savored the taste and felt the harsh burn of alcohol before she swallowed, her pale neck visible to him. 

“Sorry… I know you and him don’t really get along…”

His eyes shifted from her neck to look at her. “S’fine. He means a lot to you, and I can’t take that away.” 

“I wish it could go away. I hate feeling like this.” Her body curled into itself, cradling the glass and containing the amount of pain she carried. “Always running around, running into dead ends, chasing someone I can never find.”

Chasing someone who can never love you back, Leon thought bitterly. “I know a bit about not being able to follow someone where you can’t go.”

She looked at him, sad smile on her face. Leon thought that it was the most heartbreaking thing he had ever seen. Reaching over, Tifa took his hand in her own and gave a soft, reassuring squeeze.

“She loved you. I can tell. Hold on to that.”

With that she let go, and turned to her glass to once again to admire the light reflecting off the whiskey, leaving Leon to mull over her words.

* * *

“Thanks for tonight.”

They ended up in front of Leon’s door to his walk up since his place was closer than her shared apartment with Aerith. Tifa held her hands together in front of her as she looked at him, her bright eyes gleaming underneath the moonlight. Leon’s heart skipped a beat. 

“I had fun. We should do this again.”

Leon only nodded, not trusting himself to say anything good with alcohol still in his blood. He only felt himself wanting to tell her to stay. 

“Well… good night, Leon.” 

She gave him a smile, and went to move into the street, but Leon’s hand was faster as it grabbed her hand, stopping her and causing her to look at him, question in her eyes. It was something he himself couldn’t answer in words, only in actions. 

He had been alone for so long, and so had she. But he didn’t want to anymore, at least for tonight, and if not for himself, then at least not have her be by herself. 

Instead of saying anything, he opened his door, and led her inside and up the stairs to his apartment door, both of them quiet all the way. Once inside and the door was closed, Leon allowed the liquid courage to move closer to her, putting his hands against the door, his arms enclosing her in his space. Slowly, he leaned towards her, captivated by her wine red pools, an emotion he could not name swirling in them. He got close enough for their noses to graze, the smell of whiskey filling his nose. 

“Leon…” Her voice was merely a whisper, a warning placed on his name. 

His own gloved hand made its way to her cheek, eliciting a small gasp from her. She looked at him, sad and disappointed. He hated it.

“I’m not her, Leon.” 

And he knew. He definitely knew. This was Tifa, not a ghost. She was real, and she was here between him and his door, alive and breathing. She was strong, beautiful, broken, lost. She fought with her fists, not with a blaster edge, and she was a simple bartender, not a sorceress. 

“I know,” Leon finally said. 

She survived the destruction of her own world and traveled to many more, trying to find her best friend, a man she was hopelessly devoted to, but received nothing in return. Endlessly searching for something to welcome her with open arms only to grow tired from the lack of results. 

“I’m not him, Tifa.”

Tifa’s eyes widened as she inhaled sharply, and they started to become glossy with tears. Leon’s thumb moved to swipe the one that escaped.

“I know.”

So he leaned forward and kissed her, falling so deeply with no way of looking back.

* * *

Leon dreamt that night. 

He found himself at the SEEd ball, looking at everyone dancing (all his comrades that were gone forever dancing, as if his world didn’t blink out of existence and fall to darkness). His classmates and seniors were in their formal SEEd uniforms, issued for occasions such as this one, including himself; everyone else was in semi-formal dress with the intent to impress. The moon was full and bright, (untainted and pure) creating the perfect backdrop for an extravagant evening. 

(He also noted the breeze at his neck, something he hadn’t felt since… before everything happened.)

He stared at the crowd, the SEEds, candidates, dates from outside of the Garden, and the faculty mingling, soft murmurs collectively creating a lively atmosphere along with the sounds coming from the small ensemble playing live music set up in front of the ballroom’s vast dance floor. 

It seemed too real, but Leon (... Squall) knew that this wasn’t anything else but a dream, a memory that he cherished but buried along with the pain of all the losses he experienced. His mind wasn’t doing anything but just allowing himself to retreat here, and for what reason, he didn’t know why. 

Eventually, the music changed into the waltz, the familiar notes ringing in his ears. Unbeknownst to his younger self, Leon knew all too well what this moment meant to him. And Leon had no choice but to continue watching. 

The falling star caught his eye, its streak drawing a line that had his eyes following down and down until it landed on her standing across the room from him. She was dressed in her white cocktail dress, a stark contrast to her raven hair streaked in highlights. When his eyes met her own warm brown ones, she gave him her coy smile, one that he remembered and missed all too much, before she made her way over to him, a goal in mind that his younger self was clueless on. 

This was how he remembered it: she made some flirty lines at him, he declined at first, then she continued before she grabbed his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor, him losing his balance and falling over himself and stumbling after her, embarrassed of how he looked while she was nothing more than a stunning vision. She took his hands and firmly placed them on her waist and in her hand, and then she started leading him, but Leon wasn’t known for his grace on the dance floor, so he tripped over himself, stepped on her a few times, and knocked into another dancing couple. It all seemed so silly — he felt silly. He wanted nothing more than to go back into his dorm room and just lie down, but she was nothing but persistent. 

Her persistence never waned, and Leon watched himself finally getting the hang of it and take the lead from her, reliving the fast  _ thump thump thump _ of his heart from the adrenaline and nerves he was experiencing, especially with someone so amazing and so beautiful as her. Even just maintaining eye contact with her sent his heart through rollercoaster, her kind eyes warming him up and melting the guard that he had put up for so long. 

And then he finally pulled her close, noses touching with their breaths on each other’s faces, eyes gazing into each other’s souls. He knew that this was it. This was the start for him, the start of his heart opening up to her. He’ll never forget this moment so long as he was alive for sure. 

The fireworks burst above them, the cue for them to break apart and look up. 

Except they didn’t. 

She smiled at him and put a hand to his cheek, which Leon knew for sure didn’t happen. His eyes widened in surprise, unsure as to how to react, how to proceed, how to keep her hand on his cheek and have this moment last forever. 

(How to prevent himself from ever losing her.)

“Squall.”

Was that how her voice sounded? Was it always this beautiful? Did she always say his name like that with so much love in it? Did he take all of what he had with her for granted? His eyes stung as he reached up to touch her face, letting out a shaky breath of relief when he was able to actually touch her skin and just feel her cheek lift from the smile she was making. 

“Hey, c’mon now. Breathe.”

A choked laugh came out from his lips, her smile widening at his hopeless self. He held her face with both of his hands, stroking the softness of her cheeks and leaned forward to rest his forehead upon hers. She mirrored his actions and felt her thumbs brush away the tears that were falling from his eyes.

“You’re actually here,” he gasped out, his voice sounding younger and more hopeful. 

“In a way... I am,” she said, a hint of hesitancy in her voice that he picked up. He closed his eyes, taking in her scent and hearing her small breaths. It all seemed so real, she was tactile, she was in his arms, yet none of this… 

“... this isn’t real, is it.”

His eyes opened as he felt her move his hands from her face for her to wrap her arms around his waist and bury her face into his chest. He sighed as he wrapped his own around her shoulders and buried his face into her hair. 

“It feels like it is, though, right?” 

He squeezed her harder to prove her point. She gave one in answer. 

It seemed silly, to want to stay there forever, to just have her be real and laughing, singing to him and loving him. He wanted that so much, always did even back when things didn’t go to shit. But, Leon knew that this was a dream and nothing more. 

“Hey.”

He pulled away and looked down at her and he found her looking older, dressed in casual clothes, like the way he remembered her. Looking around, they were in their home that they made together, a small apartment that they were able to get without the General’s help. It was mostly to prove to him that she was capable of being a working citizen and earn her keep, something that made Leon love her more. It was late afternoon already from what he can judge, the golden light from the setting sun shining through their living room window, dust motes dancing in the air. 

“She’s cute. I think you should go for it.”

His head snapped back to her, a knowing smile on her face and a wink sent his way. 

“Tifa?” he asked incredulously, his voice now sounding like more of himself.

“I mean, you already did,” she teased, causing Leon’s face to heat up. She giggled as she walked away from him to look out of the window, hands clasped behind her back. A soft sigh came from her before she continued. “I was so worried about you, Squall.” She twisted around to look at him. “Or should I call you Leon now?”

At the sound of his current name, Leon started. The name sounded foreign coming from her, as if she shouldn’t be saying it at all. He only changed his name after their world fell, not wanting to be tied down to his given name that he felt brought him so much pain and shame from not being able to protect and save everyone, especially her. Squall was a different chapter of his life, one that she was very much apart of, one that she helped to write. Leon… she was not part of that chapter. 

“You can… you can call me what you’re used to,” he finally said. 

She turned away from him, humming, unable to show Leon what she was truly thinking. “But you’re Leon now. That’s who you are at this moment.”

He looked away from her back, unable to say anything and unable to refute her because he knew she was right. 

“Rinoa…” he started, her name said with ease even after all the years of not having said it. “I… It’s too… It was too painful.” His hand clenched into a fist, as if making a fist would keep his emotions at bay. He took deep breaths, attempting to calm himself, but a pressure was pushing his chest down. It was getting so hard to breathe. “When… when I lost you…” His other hand came up to his eye, the heel pressing against it to keep the tears from falling. “I couldn’t take it. You were everything to me.”

“I know, Leon. It’s okay.”

“It wasn’t. I wasn’t. I was far from okay. It was so hard to live without you, Rinoa. You have no idea.” 

He maneuvered his arm so that he would block both of his eyes from her sight. Crying for him rarely happened, even when he woke up with death all around him, even when he mourned for her and their comrades and everyone else and their world for years. His body was shaking and his teeth were clenched, trying to trap the sobs that threatened to come out from his throat. 

“And here I am, messing things up in my own goddamn dream from being able to enjoy this time with you because I… I’ve missed you so much. Every single day. And I never thought I’d be able to see you again.”

Her warm presence appeared behind him, and he felt her arms snake around his waist and the weight of her head settle between his shoulder blades. “I know,” she whispered, voice also shaking and arms trembling. The hand by his side went to interlace with one of her hands, an attempt to soothe her and himself. 

“You need to forgive yourself,” she spoke softly as she squeezed his waist. “And you need to let me go.”

It was like a dam finally broke, and Leon couldn’t hold back the anguish and pain he kept carefully bottled up over the years. His knees buckled and he dropped to the floor as he sobbed into his hands, Rinoa still holding him from behind. His cries sounded throughout the dream apartment accompanied by the small sniffles Rinoa gave.

So many what if’s had plagued him, if only’s had swarmed his head and tied him down, and he hated it. He hated all of those thoughts. And he just wanted to shut down and not live in a world where Rinoa wasn’t around. It was cruel to keep on living when she was already dead. When his last memory of her is panic in her eye as they both reached for each other, her screaming his name in fear. There was nothing else left to do other than to shut down completely, throw away everything that reminded him of her, including his own name, and just live as a shell of what he was, Rinoa taking everything of him to her death. 

But then Tifa came in and dredged everything back up, had him remember everything and feel what he never wanted to feel again… yet he didn’t blame her. He couldn’t. Not when she was hurting just as much as he was.

His sobs subsided, leaving him to gasp for breath. He wiped the tears with the back of his hand, and turned around to face her, a sad look on her face.

“Leon, I was so worried for you,” she repeated, her hands gently holding his own. “But I’m so glad. Because now I can rest easy knowing that you’ll be okay.”

“Rinoa…” 

He didn’t want her to leave… but this was a dream, and he was bound to wake up soon. In his peripherals, he saw the apartment fading away, turning into dust particles that floated away from them. 

“You’ll be good for each other. I know it. And you know how I have keen intuition,” she said jokingly, which got a small chuckle out of him. 

Some moments passed as he stared at her face, trying to memorize this dream, hoping that he will never forget it. Soon, there was nothing left except white surrounding them. 

“I love you,” she declared softly with a smile on her face. “Always will.” 

“I love you, too.” Leon ran a hand through her hair, watching the highlighted strands mixed with black fall from his fingers before he finally rested his hand on her cheek. He looked back into her brown eyes.

“Always will.”

* * *

Leon woke up to the sun shining in his eyes, feeling the most well-rested he had ever felt in such a long time. Like a weight was finally off his chest and he can just breathe. He thought back to the dream, what he could remember of the bits and pieces, and the lasting impression of Rinoa’s love for him and her wish for his own happiness had him smiling to himself. 

“Always will,” he said out loud to no one.

He turned his head to the side and was met with empty space, indents of where a body had laid the only evidence left that last night had happened at all. Curious, he got up and moved about to put his underwear and pants on and left his room to see where Tifa had gone. 

The apartment was quiet save for the sounds of the townspeople bustling along and busying themselves to get ready for the day outside in the street. Leon frowned at the sight of the empty apartment and no Tifa anywhere. Not even a note to let him know where she had gone or to say “thanks for last night”, though Leon would not have been happy about the latter. 

He sighed and rubbed at his eyes, feeling the elation he felt from waking up this morning turning into bitter disappointment. 

* * *

  
It had been a few weeks since Tifa came home with Leon, and it did not go unmissed by Leon that the fighter was most likely avoiding him. He never crossed paths with her, and she never showed up to the office, the bar, the markets, or anywhere she would frequent. Like she disappeared. The irony of the situation was something he couldn’t help but be annoyed by. 

“Leon! What a surprise,” Aerith greeted as Leon turned up at the community garden that she was in charge of. She threw her garden gloves off, brushed the dirt off of her dress, and stood up as he walked over to her. “How can I help you?”

“Have you seen Tifa?” he asked, ignoring the slight freeze in Aerith’s frame. 

The woman pursed her lips and folded her arms, her careful stare making Leon a bit uncomfortable. She raised a brow before answering. “Why are you asking?”

“... I think she’s avoiding me.”

“She has her reasons.”

Leon grunted, not pleased with the answer. He copied Aerith’s stance. “I need to talk to her.”

“Why do you care, Leon?” Aerith asked, her voice somewhat giving way to a type of aggression, perhaps over protectiveness. Cid wasn’t wrong when he told the gunblade wielder what the two women meant to each other. “What do you want from her?”

“Are you going to tell me where she is or not, Aerith?” Leon snapped, his irritation at the entire situation slowly boiling over. He was not willing to waste anymore time.

“Don’t use that tone with me,” the healer said back, her eyes narrowing. “I need to know what your true intentions are. Because right now, all I know is that someone else is on your mind, and she deserves more than that.”

“You don’t think I know that? She deserves more and better than anyone. You have to be blind and an idiot not to see how amazing of a woman she is.”

Aerith quirked an eyebrow at his outburst, but she did not say anything. Leon unfolded his arms and looked away, hoping the next set of words he was about to speak would convey the truth he had come to realize.

“I want to move on, Aerith. And I want to help her move on, too. I want to be the person for her that she can rely on to be there, that she can return to without any fear that I would leave.” Leon took a deep breath, the smell of the flowers that the town has been planting and tending to filling his nose. He exhaled all the worries he had been harboring for the past few weeks and looked Aerith in the eye. “We’ve both been chasing ghosts for so long that we… that I haven’t been able to see or think of anything else until she came into my life.

“For the first time, I thought of someone else besides myself. I thought of Tifa, of how beautiful, strong… sad she is. She may have reminded me of what was gone, but she makes me feel not alone, like I have been for so goddamn long. I just want… I want us to live again. And I can do that with her.”

A soft breeze passed through the garden, ruffling both their hairs and rustling the leaves in the trees. Leon looked down, his hand clenched tightly in a fist. This was the first time he bared his heart out to his friends, and if he were to be honest, it felt good to find confidence in them, to bear his heart out on a platter and serve it to them and have them accept all of him. 

He let out a sigh and turned around and started his way towards the gate.

“She’s been training on the ledge that overlooks the Great Maw.”

He turned his head to the side to acknowledge the statement. He was about to continue until she spoke up again. 

“Leon… I’m happy for you. For both of you.”

He continued to make his way out, saying nothing and only waving goodbye to the woman.

* * *

Leon eventually found the martial artist somewhere between the Bailey and the town on top of a set of stairs that led to a platform that allowed a view of the Great Maw and beyond. The sun was already setting, casting its golden rays throughout the valley, lighting Tifa up in an ethereal glow as she sat in the ledge and looked outward. Seeing her in such a way almost made him forget what he wanted to say, the scene so beautiful, the woman even more so. 

He took a step forward, stopping when she turned to look at him. Her face upon seeing him noticeably fell. 

“Hi,” she finally said.

Leon nodded to her. “Hi.”

She started moving to get up from her position. “Sorry, I’ll be on my way.”

“Please don’t avoid me,” Leon said as he took another step towards her. 

Tifa stopped, still not looking at him with her bangs hanging in her face. 

He took another step, and another, slowly getting closer to her. “Can we talk?”

“There’s really nothing to talk about, is there?” she said, her face still hidden from him. She turned her head away and grabbed her elbow, protecting himself from him. The body language made him frown.

“Tifa—”

“I gotta go.”

She brushed past him, but he will be damned if he let her slip through his fingers, let the chance they both had at a normal, joy filled life slip away, so he grabbed her wrist, similar to how he reached for her that one night, causing her to stop in her tracks.

“Let me go, Leon…” her voice came out small. 

“Please, let’s just talk. I need to talk to you.”

“There’s nothing to talk about!” she said angrily as she ripped her wrist from his grip, finally showing her face to him. Her eyes were filled with a dangerous fury as her lips were drawn in a tight line. “It was one night, and it was a mistake. That’s all. It meant nothing.”

Leon felt like he was punched in the gut, her words cutting him down more than he thought they would. “It meant nothing,” he repeated slowly. Then he laughed bitterly. “Right. Right.” He laughed even more, the situation being anything but funny. 

“You’re an absolute piece of work, you know that?” Tifa scoffed as she folded her arms. “Is this what you wanted to do? Laugh at my expense? Am I that much of a goddamn joke to you?”

“YOUR expense? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he barked out, incredulous laughter still spilling from his lips. 

“Isn’t this what this is!?” The woman pushed him, causing him to stumble and stop his laughter. “Isn’t that what that night was about?!”

She moved to push him again, but he grabbed her wrists and brought her closer to him, their faces inches apart. “How about you tell me, no bullshit, what that night meant to you.” 

Her eyes shone defiantly, tears welling up in them. She grit her teeth before whispering harshly, “It meant nothing to me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Say it like you mean it, then. Yell at me, hurt me, but don’t lie to my face.”

Tifa growled as she pushed him away again and moved to punch him, which he easily caught. Despite the situation, despite her anger and hate towards him at this very moment, he was still much in awe of her. She was a raging hurricane with no signs of slowing down, leaving a trail of destruction in her wake. The martial artist pulled back on her hand to bring him closer to her and to bring a knee up to his stomach, but Leon had the foresight from their previous sparring to hook a hand underneath her knee. However, he did not think far enough as Tifa was able to leverage her weight to bring her other leg up to kick him in the stomach, the force allowing her to somersault away from him. 

Leon couldn’t breathe, the pain from his stomach and from his heart becoming a bit too much. He looked up at her and watched as she assumed a fighting stance. He chuckled again. “Can’t even tell me the truth, can you.”

“Shut up!” she screamed at him as she rushed towards him again, her punch finally landing on his face, causing his vision to swim. “I don’t owe you anything!”

“No, you don’t,” he grunts as he barely dodges another punch. “You owe no one anything, and no one owes you anything either. But, goddammit, Tifa, you owe yourself some happiness, too!”

“I know that! But you took the shot I had at it away from me that night!” she yelled brokenly, tears finally streaming down her face. She swiped at her eyes and pushed him again. “Fine, that night was amazing, and it meant so much to me.” She heaved a gulp of air before she hit him in the chest. “It was the happiest I had ever been in such a long time, and I wanted more of that. I wanted more of that feeling with you. I wanted… I just wanted to be wanted. To be loved.” 

The storm in her quelled down to a quiet and sad anger. Her shoulders slumped forward as she tried to catch her breath, making her appear smaller and more fragile than Leon had ever seen her. She raised the heel of her hand to her eye and turned her head away.

“But you said her name in your sleep, and I felt like such a fool.”

Leon’s eyes widened in realization. “Oh.”

Her head snapped to glare at him. “‘Oh?’ That’s it? That’s all you have to say?”

“Tifa,” he said, breathless, almost ecstatic from her confession. He took a step towards her. “That night it was all you. It was always about you. I thought of no one else but you.” 

A tiny breath escaped from her lips, but her gaze was still skeptical, which was understandable now that he figured out the real problem. He gave her a small smile, and once he was close enough, he reached out to push a hair behind her ear. 

“She came to me in a dream that night. Rinoa.” His hand grazed her cheek as he pulled back from the previous intimate action. “At first, I was overjoyed. I hadn’t seen her, heard her, held her in so long… but it wasn’t real. I remember it feeling like it was. And I remember… I remember telling her everything that I felt since she left... Since she left us.

“I… felt so relieved. I didn’t realize how much hurt I was holding until I let it out to her.” He was closer now, able to trace Tifa’s arm all the way to her wrist where he placed a thumb on her pulse point, feeling her life beat steadily. “And she told me I needed to let go and forgive myself.” With his other hand, he held her face, the action causing her lips to tremble. “To move on and to do it with you.”

Tifa let out a sob, a gloved hand reaching to hold the one on her cheek. She turned her face towards his hand and nuzzled against it, still crying. 

“She has an uncanny sense for matchmaking, if you want to know,” he joked.

The woman in front of him laughed and finally smiled. “I got her approval?”

“Stamped and everything.” 

She laughed again, lips brushing against his wrist. “Hey,” she started as she maneuvered her other hand to hold his. “I’m sorry… for jumping to conclusions and taking it out on you. I was… I was really hurt.”

“I know. It’s okay.”

"I just didn't want to be second best. Or left behind. Not again."

He wiped away a tear with his thumb and bowed his head to have their foreheads touched. He watched as her eyes fluttered to a close. "You were never second best, Tifa. And I'd be an idiot to have you feel that way all over again." He squeezed her hand, and she squeezed back. 

“Though I will kick your ass if you do hurt me again.”

A true genuine laugh released from the back of his throat and into the air, the first one since before everything fell apart, the sound unfamiliar to his own ears. Tifa’s eyes widened, also shocked by the sound, but she continued to beam at him, signs of something akin to love in her eyes. It was strange, to feel this happy, and he wanted to bask in it forever. He had been missing out on this for far too long, this warm feeling that spread throughout his entire body. But now he can get that feeling over and over again. And he can do that with her.

Now, they both can finally start to live.

**Author's Note:**

> Follow me on twitter @nelsquared to see me scream about things.


End file.
